Things From My Inbox: Big Brother Says Watch Yourself

Haven't done this in ages, but here are a couple of juicy moments to juxtapose about life as a junior faculty member.

First is a call urging me to come up with a paper to help out the friend of a colleague's conference:

...the calll for papers only went out two weeks ago. So there will be a shortage. Its a refereed event - although I don't see it in the call below, that is according to Prof. Z.) and would look good on the Tenure presentation (local; has a prestigious sounding name etc.)...

Who knew local, snazzy sounding names were what tenure committees look for?

And then, there's this, from the office and VP who oversee tenure here at my fine institution, in regards to an upcoming student event that happens before our contract dates begin. This particular sections comes after a long explanation detailing how crucial it is we be at these various events:

...I know it’s a busy time of year, but please mark your calendars and plan to attend. For purposes of planning seating and food for the convocation and dinner, Assistant Hoodoo also will be asking you to RSVP to our office if you are NOT planning to attend either or both events...

You're reading that right - the person who heads tenure decisions wants us to alert them if we're not planning on participating in their event, an event that typically in no way acknowledges the educational aspect of the university (ironic that it's only an aspect, don't you think?). Do you think I could just say that while the event is local, its name doesn't sound prestigious enough?