Things From My Inbox: Big Brother Says Watch Yourself

Haven't done this in ages, but here are a couple of juicy moments to juxtapose about life as a junior faculty member.

First is a call urging me to come up with a paper to help out the friend of a colleague's conference:

...the calll for papers only went out two weeks ago. So there will be a shortage. Its a refereed event - although I don't see it in the call below, that is according to Prof. Z.) and would look good on the Tenure presentation (local; has a prestigious sounding name etc.)...

Who knew local, snazzy sounding names were what tenure committees look for?

And then, there's this, from the office and VP who oversee tenure here at my fine institution, in regards to an upcoming student event that happens before our contract dates begin. This particular sections comes after a long explanation detailing how crucial it is we be at these various events:

...I know it’s a busy time of year, but please mark your calendars and plan to attend. For purposes of planning seating and food for the convocation and dinner, Assistant Hoodoo also will be asking you to RSVP to our office if you are NOT planning to attend either or both events...

You're reading that right - the person who heads tenure decisions wants us to alert them if we're not planning on participating in their event, an event that typically in no way acknowledges the educational aspect of the university (ironic that it's only an aspect, don't you think?). Do you think I could just say that while the event is local, its name doesn't sound prestigious enough?

Things from My Inbox: Call and Response

It must be midterms. And if anything should bring out a special edition of Things from My Inbox, midterms and grades should do it. Having only just - thirty minutes ago - given out midterm grades, naturally e-mails like this one are starting to roll in:

I was just wondering if you would be able to fill me in on why my class grade is a 79 when I feel that I have gotten fairly high grades on all>assignments and received an 85 on the test

Of course, it's not all a downside, since it gives me an opportunity to reply with things like this:

I'd be glad to explain. I take all the scores and add them up as described in the syllabus. When I total the total number of points you've received and divide them by the total number of points currently available in the course, the percentage I get is 79. When you total them up do you come up with something different?

Good times.

Things From My Inbox: the Tweed and Leather?!? Edition

That's right, kids, it's time for cognitive dissonance e-mail style. As always, names changed to protect the innocent, etc, etc. Here are this week's selections:

[Person X] would like to invite you, your spouse & two guests of your choice to learn how to create a retirement roadmap customized specifically for you.

and

Why does it have to be a smart young professor aren't there any smart old professors who could get this ball rolling?

Does this suggest that old professors never die, they just retire in a foursome?

Zoinks!

And just as a bonus bit of good news from the Inbox, this arrived late last night:

We are pleased to inform you that your chapter proposal has been accepted for inclusion...

All this and a long weekend. Life's feeling up right now.

You Saw It Here First (or "Take This Out of Context and Chew On it")

I'm going to try to invent a new blog trend (think Random 10) as a way of measuring the cultural zeitgeist, recognizing strange syncronicities, allowing the universe to nudge in me in unexpected directions, and (most importantly) a new means of filling up posts.

So, ladies, gentlemen, and people who identify more creatively, let me present, for the first time on this or any stage, the magical device that all the kids will be talking about and all the adults will be scratching their heads to think about. The one, the only, the stupendous...

Things From My In-Box
"Without joining the group, I'd like to throw some questions out here. Why should Facebook be anything more than a place where a group of (mostly) college students leave each other messages about the daily goings on in their lives? Why does it need to be intellectually interesting for a group of academics?"

and

"I am looking to identify faculty members who would be willing to participate in an informal conversation about the academic possibilities for a program (yet to be defined) in something geared around national and homeland security. I am deliberately being vague because I want to proceed judiciously and not necessarily jump on the “Homeland Security” academic bandwagon that has begun around the country."

Feel like screaming yet? See a connection? Know what the universe is trying to tell me? Dive in and take a shot.

And remember, tell your friends your head hurt here first.