Southern Boy in a Snow Storm

The first time in my adult life I found myself in a snow storm, I got frostbite and propositioned by my would-be rescuer. The second time, I was in my car driving cross-country with my dog in the back seat and the storm following me like an irritating tune. That it sometimes overtook me - and never when I wanted it to - balanced with the fact that my dog sat in the backseat and occasionally stuck his head into the front seat for a scratch or to lick my cheek.

So perhaps it is no wonder today I found myself ambivalent at best about the snow falling outside the window. It seems I may well be congenitally unable to prepare properly for snow. I got frostbite because I was walking without a hat or gloves though I knew a storm was coming. On the drive, I was certain my new tires would be more than enough to see me through a drive that should have taken 24 hours but instead kept me in the car for 56. Today's snow doesn't look so bad, I think, though I fought the urge (as all of us from the South must when snow is predicted) to run to the store and load a cart full of everything we've ever wanted to eat but couldn't, just in case we're somehow snowed in. Who would want to risk dying, after all, without at least two boxes of those orange flavored Hostess cupcakes one can normally only find at truck stops?

Coming home today, the snow Photoshopped the town at the bottom of the hill out of existence, urging me to paint in a new background of my choosing for the drive home. My preferred image for the new horizon of the many I considered was of my dog in mid-leap for his frisbee, soon to land where the grocery store and the bowling alley had once been. Who wouldn't love "Giant Dog Horizon and Snow Storm"? And it occurred to me, as you drive closer to the Equator, the brighter things become, and I began to fear that life this far north was going to slowly weaken my rods and cones so that one day, when I'm further south, the bright colors of everything from flowers to houses will hurt my eyes.

Oh, that just one Northern house would gleefully cast off Scandinavian manners and offer some little bit of turquoise offense.

And still, last night, drifting in and out of sleep, I thought how glorious it was to hover in bed, the face of my pup peeking over the edge, a story near, a sleepy voice and laughter. How sweet this elegy; how pleasant the snow could be.


7 Responses to “Southern Boy in a Snow Storm”
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Belle said...


But I want warm, sun on skin, silky breeze. And dogs.

March 7, 2008 at 9:18 PM
Dr. Curmudgeon said...

Oh, I'm with you. I can find a little appreciation for snow, but little is the operative word. I'm a summer boy - I'm dying to be able to sleep with my windows open, to have extra hours of sunshine, to not be thought of as crazy for ordering iced tea.

And, of course, dogs.

March 7, 2008 at 10:36 PM
Maude Lebowski said...

seriously, really, how hard am i laughing at "propositioning my would be rescuer"?

snow storms and thunderstorms scare me. at least twice this winter i cried on my way to work during the snow because i was frightened.

just iced tea? aren't you a southern boy? shouldn't you be drinking sweet tea?

March 8, 2008 at 9:21 AM
Dr. Curmudgeon said...

Being from the South, I just assume that iced tea will be sweet.

March 8, 2008 at 10:34 AM
adjunct whore said...

i agree with maude, being propositioned by your rescuer cracked me up.

but your post also reminds me of how strange it is to be somewhere else. you and i have switched sides and i've been feeling alien in part because of the weather (though i admit i'm getting used to extremely mild winters), mostly because of cultural differences.

you made the snow sound lovely again. thanks.

March 8, 2008 at 10:34 PM
Maude Lebowski said...

ahhh, okay, i have just never been brave enough to assume that iced tea meant sweet tea. i have seen my father and my sister disappointed too many a time assuming "iced" was "sweet."


March 9, 2008 at 10:48 AM
Dr. Curmudgeon said...

AW - glad I could do something to help make the snow palatable again.

Maude - that's probably smarter of you (and I should probably learn from these mistakes). The sweet tea dilemma is probably easier for me since I actually prefer it with Sweet and Low. Maybe it's because I'm more a Southwestern boy than a Southern one. But I'm still a little mystified when people drink iced tea plain.

March 9, 2008 at 1:02 PM