Conflicts: a One Act Play In Bullet Points

Setting: an academic office, desks covered with papers, articles, books like a publishing factory has vomited or perhaps been killed in a suitably Phillip Marlow sort of way, mid-morning.

The cast:
Our hero - played by whomever you'd like to see play this role
The Downside of the Conflict: Stacy Keach
The Upside of the Conflict: Kermit the Frog

Scenes to be improv'd.
  • Feeling the need to post on the blog versus a fear that an "I Hate This Monday" post will sound dangerously close to a Garfield cartoon
  • The need to organize various papers with the certainty that at least 70 more tidbits will be headed this way shortly
  • The knowledge that I might be observed tempered by the fact that the observer, in a moment eerily reminiscent of something one of my students tried earlier this week, has sent me a "I might not make it to class because of a dentist appointment" e-mail
  • The inability to look away from the gruesome Gumdrop train wreck still happening elsewhere versus the desire to actually have a life
  • The desire to write a scathing letter to the VP for whom IT answers, complaining about their awful track record this term and their amazing ability to be at lunch 7 out of 8 hours a day versus the certainty that such a complaint will land me on a committee
  • The desire to make a list of things to accomplish and be crippled by it or to wing-it, feel better about it, and take the 50/50 chances of doing more that way
  • The overwhelming desire to find my playmate and get into some mischief versus the need to do some serious work quickly
Discuss and/or add more dilemmas for our cast.


7 Responses to “Conflicts: a One Act Play In Bullet Points”
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Dr. Crazy said...

1. Everybody posts the "I hate mondays" posts from time to time, and thus, you just have to accept that you're going to do this every now and again, even if it will make you resemble Garfield, which, it is true, no one wants.

2. Organizing papers ultimately doesn't really make for a good use of time, is my feeling. That said, this is why my students are constantly asking me for papers that I have misplaced :)

3. Do you know, I've not looked in on the Gumdrop Trainwreck (which really reminds me of the children's game Candyland, only like a horror version of it or something) since last week? I feel kind of bad, as I feel like it was my train that careened off the tracks....

4. Don't make the Big List of Things to Accomplish, but rather make a small list of things that must be accomplished this afternoon, and take pleasure in actually crossing the things off the list. It's the only way.

5. I really want to comment on this last one, but the only comments I can think of would make you out to be a pervy teenager with a playboy magazine, and to leave such a comment would seem in poor taste. That said, in my experience, mischief's always around when one is looking for it, whereas work is more time-sensitive.

November 5, 2007 at 2:37 PM
Dr. Curmudgeon said...

Maybe "playmate" was a poor choice of words. But now I'm doing to write a post that begins "Dear Chronicle of Higher Education, I never thought this would happen to me..."

November 5, 2007 at 6:20 PM
Maggie said...

I, too, was puzzled about the playmate reference. I thought to myself, "Gee, his department must be a lot more fun than mine!"

That said, letters like yours would make the CHE way more interesting.

November 5, 2007 at 8:20 PM
Dr. Curmudgeon said...

You mean everyone's department doesn't have a dress code calling for velvet smoking jackets?

November 5, 2007 at 8:27 PM
Maggie said...

Actually, I shudder to think what the results would be if my dept. instituted such a dress code. I have a feeling that several of my colleagues have velvet smoking jackets at the ready, waiting for just such a pronouncement.

November 5, 2007 at 8:55 PM
Dr. Curmudgeon said...

The only consolation if that's the case is that I'm sure the projector in the grotto never works right, making Power Point useless.

November 5, 2007 at 9:01 PM