Guide for Americans Abroad on the Day of a World Cup Victory

1. Recognize that there are some things bigger and more popular than anything your country produces.
2. Decide whether this makes you want to get on the bandwagon and/or expand your horizons or whether you want to try uncharacteristic anti-establishment thinking and/or passively grumbling that you don't get it.
3. Take comfort in the fact that people from your own country aren't the only ones who lose any sense of public shame or consideration when their team wins. But only a little comfort. And cold.
4. If forced into conversation, to minimize lack of knowledge (due to being at conference, lack of interest, etc.) simply mumble "Some refs, eh?".
   
5. Wear earphones - the honking, cheering, and singing might go well into the night.
6. Day after, claim blisters that are making you hobble developed somehow while you were running victory laps long into the night. Don't admit they were from getting lost and finding yourself in the meatpacking district.
7. Buy a drink or accept a drink when offered. It's the right thing to do.